Monkey Love

Calling all Intel Monkeys!

you have been neglected long enough, the ground troops have been getting all the swag - well no longer!

The Home Guard Shop now stocks T-Shirts featuring one of two Intel Monkey designs. there is the option of Agent Names and Home Guard logo's joining the Monkey designs.

If you are ordering a T-Shirt featuring your agent name please be sure you have edited the text accordingly, there is a known bug on the mobile version where the customise button does not always appear.

Home Guard and the UK Resistance make no profit from any sales, the cost is just to cover the costs involved.

Operation 'Sheffield Springs A Leek'

---- Incoming Message---
Sender : +Gavin Drury 
Subject : Sheffield Springs a Leek
Classification : Restricted

Sit Rep
To help celebrate having one of our new agents levelling up to Lv8, and to welcome him to the Sheffield Lv8 Club, we thought it would be a good idea to bring him into his first op and get him into the 100k plus fielding club.
Spotting an opportunity on Bank Holiday Monday morning, Second Lieutenant Kierkergard rounded up the troops as he headed over to Leek to farm the keys in a two hour round trip.
With Cpl Dingus01 on his way to collect the keys from the Northern neutral portals and Pvt Sming ready to courier keys to Pvt Melkerrigan for the Eastern portals, Flt Lt TheFuryD started planning the fields and working out how many keys would be needed. A few small blocking links were removed and with with Pvt Pankomputerek's help, we checked for any new blocking links appearing and further clearance duties were assigned.
Shortly after 2nd Lt Kierkergard had got the keys from Leek, A long blocking link from Chesterfield appeared meaning they had to divert to Buxton and, hopefully under the guise of smashing an 8 farm, the link in question was removed before coming back to Sheffield for everyone to meet and exchange keys. Then with Pvt Pankomputerek, Cpl Dingus01,2nd Lt Kierkergard, and Pvt MelKerrigan in place with bursters and Jarvis at the ready, 5 minutes of clearance, the neutral portals set up and the long southern link thrown before any blockers can pop up. The field was closed and a further two layers dropped and then we hit a block as Flt Lt TheFuryD directed the fourth layer. Reports coming back from the field that there were no linkable fields. Intel looked good, it was clear. Phones were rebooted. We were getting worried as the local fast response field killers were surely on their way now. Phone restarted. Level one diagnostics run. Still no links....and then it clicks. The agent realises he was at the wrong portal! A quick trip to the correct one and the fourth layer was deployed. Followed by the fifth and six. Mission accomplished.
Time to relax and for the Intel monkey to grab a beer. 6 Layers, 13 Fields, and 1,245,086 MU. Which was one less field than planned and about 50MU less we could have got due to a link going early, so sorry to those few minds we couldn't save.
Whilst the quick response team did indeed show up later, they failed to set up any kind of blocking link so Pvt Sming and 2nd Lt Kierkergard had a quick trip to put the field back up.

Conception, Clearance and Farming -2nd Lt Kierkergard
Intel and Field Planning - Flt Lt TheFuryD
Clearance and Fielding - Cpl Dingus01
Clearance and Fielding - Pvt MelKerrigan
Clearance - Pvt Pankomputerek
Key Courier - Pvt Sming
Refielding - Pvt Sming and 2nd Lt Kierkergard

--- End Transmission ---

Four Smurfs Go To The Seaside

Chapter 1: Papa Smurf is Bored

Once upon a time, in a town not that far from here, there lived four smurfs. There was Papa Smurf, the leader of the group; Brainy Smurf, who was very clever; Bossy Smurf, who always thought she knew better than Papa Smurf; and Silly Smurf, who was very, very silly.

One hot summer evening, the four friends were sitting in Brainy Smurf’s garden, drinking their favourite smurf juice. Papa Smurf and Bossy Smurf were arguing - as usual. Brainy Smurf was swinging in her hammock, and Silly Smurf was sitting on the grass, playing a silly game.

“I’m bored”, complained Papa Smurf. “There is nothing left to do here”, agreed Brainy Smurf. “I think Papa Smurf is right”, added Bossy Smurf. “Can I have some more smurf juice?” asked Silly Smurf, but nobody was listening.

“I think that what we need is a holiday!” exclaimed Brainy Smurf. “Good idea!” shouted Papa Smurf and Bossy Smurf, simultaneously. Then they stopped, and stared at each other with confused looks on their faces. “Well” continued Brainy Smurf, “if you both agree, then it must be a good idea.”

“Can I have some more smurf juice?” asked Silly Smurf, but nobody was listening.

Chapter 2: Riding in the Smurfmobile

A few days later Papa Smurf and the other Smurfs packed up the Smurfmobile and headed out of town. Papa Smurf had heard about a big tunnel under the sea, which would take them to a whole new smurfy country, where the Smurfs were known as les Schtroumpfs. Papa, Brainy and Bossy all agreed that this was an excellent idea.

“I wanted to go to Alton Towers...” grumbled Silly Smurf, but nobody was listening.

The Smurfmobile made surprisingly good time as the four friends travelled through the beautiful countryside. Papa Smurf and Bossy Smurf were arguing, again. This time it was over what kind of music to listen to as they drove. “Music from Smurfville!” Bossy Smurf shouted. “No, you’re wrong. As usual. We need some 12 bar blues.” replied Papa Smurf.
“Listen you two, if you don’t take a break I’m going to hit you!” shouted Brainy Smurf angrily.

“Look! A dead umbrella bird!” squealed Silly Smurf, but nobody was listening.

Soon the smurfmobile arrived in a quaint little village on the coast. “We’ll stay here.” decided Papa Smurf. “Good idea.” said Brainy Smurf. “Just let me out of here!” whined Bossy Smurf. “Is it time for some smurf juice?” asked Silly Smurf, hopefully. But nobody was listening.

Chapter 3: A Curious Message in a Bottle

The little village had an enormous beach, so the friends decided to go for a walk while Brainy Smurf tried to teach Silly Smurf all about estuaries and tides. Soon, the sun began to set, and they decided to go and find something to eat (or in Silly Smurf’s case, to drink).

But as they walked along the sand, something strange happened. Silly Smurf was slightly behind the others, playing in the rockpools, when he spotted a glowing blue bottle bobbing along in the water. “Look at that!” he shouted, but nobody was listening. So he tried again. “Papa! Bossy! Brainy! What is that?”

“Just leave it alone Silly,” said Brainy, “it’s only litter.” “Yeah,” added Papa, “now hurry up, I’m starving”.

But Silly Smurf wasn’t so sure. He picked up the glowing bottle and peered at it closely. “Papa! Look Papa!” There’s lots of keys in here. And they all have your name on them!”

For once, all the other Smurfs stopped and listened to Silly Smurf. “My name?” Papa Smurf exclaimed. “How odd!”

Chapter 4: Why Keys Are So Important to Smurfs

Now it’s important to explain just how special keys are to Smurfs. They use them to send messages to other smurfs across long distances, and sometimes they use them to send messages to lots of smurfs at the same time, by making a big blue blanket.

Smurfs give each other keys as presents. Sometimes they find them in the street. But never before had any smurf found a key with their own name on it. Even Brainy Smurf didn’t know what that meant.

“Maybe something is broken in the G.A.M.E (Gargamel Avoidance Messaging Engine)?” Brainy Smurf suggested, looking puzzled. “Let’s see if we can fix it.”

Chapter 5: The Smurfs Decide to Experiment

First they tried to send a message with one of the keys, and it seemed to work. They could see the message flying out over the sea. Just to be sure, Papa Smurf made a small blue blanket, and this seemed to work too.

But Bossy Smurf was still confused. “Wherever these messages are going, it still seems to have your name instead of an address. How is that possible?”

The next day the small blue blanket was gone, leaving the smurfs even more confused.

“Right” announced Papa Smurf, “I have a plan. Let’s visit all of the interesting places in the village and send messages using these keys. Maybe one of our friends back home will see them and help us understand what’s going on.”

Chapter 6: Fun in the Sun

So that’s exactly what they did. The Smurfs visited the beach, the market, the churches, some war memorials, and lots of other interesting places. Then, just to be sure, they took a steam train to the next village over and made some blue blankets from there too.

They still didn’t really know where their messages were going, but they decided that it didn’t matter. The important thing was that they were having a lot of fun in a new place, and it was all because of Silly Smurf.

“Maybe I’m not Silly Smurf, I’m sensible Smurf?” giggled Silly Smurf. And, although everyone listened this time, they decided it might still be a bit early to tell for sure.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Disclaimer: All smurfs appearing in this work are fictitious...ish. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is mostly coincidental, and possibly insulting. No UK portals used in this op holiday were submitted by any of the players involved. Fields built on Saturday 23rd, Sunday 24th and Monday 25th (at 4am local time, after they were taken down by enl players at 1am).

Acknowledgements:@julesdg6, @cuznatch, @woollyhedge and @regthefish on the ground.@16shells, @oindypoind and the Brighton Resistance for key farming and portal building.@Darksniper83 for air support.

Real Life Matter: Muju

Jason Walters (aka, Muju) wife is pregnant, unfortunately at the same time she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
He has been reluctant to ask for help, but has had the choice removed by the people around him that care.

He has a donation page set up to help them make it through all this. If you can, please donate something.

We Will Fight Them On The Beaches

In 1940, Dunkirk was instrumental in providing the safe return of our troops. The Kentish coast has long been an important asset to this island nation. These two facts add to the pride we have this evening for the soldiers on the ground that have ensured, not only is Dover to Folkstone safe from ingression, the seas lanes to Calais and Dunkirk are also covered in a protective field.

The Navy is incredibly grateful for your protection, good work!

Helios Manchester Measurement 5 summary

Resistance captured this measurement with about a million cake points, and a party few will forget! Thanks to everyone for coming. Despite the result, it was a great day for the team, and a lot of new friendships emerged. Progress has been made on some very interesting ops. Watch this space, or probably just watch the sky.

Amongst the volatiles for this measurement were Lemon Meringue cupcakes, Rocky Road cupcakes, Double Jaffa Cake brownies, Cherry & Amaretto slices, peanut butter cakes and vegan Oreo cupcakes.
The Blue cakes were Gin & Tonic flavour. A very rarely seen concoction which became a theme of the evening! By the end of the night everyone was dead tired, and ready to drop!

Thanks to Elaine Scott, Claire Hosker, @Shires, Markus Vaihoja, @Virtek, P. Little, Gary Barber, @herbius, @b4kka, @bellkitty, @meelzebub, @Muffinhell84 @mimtwin and Hayley Rogers for the extensive cake selection!

Special thanks to @Hybridesque for his fantastic efforts on cake strategy.

The Battle is Over, The War Goes On

As the dust settles across the Manchester battle field, we would like to thank everyone for their efforts.
It was a good fight, we won some, but unfortunately lost more. We must therefore congratulate our foes on their victory.

We may have lost the battle, but the war goes on! It is time to brush ourselves down, pick up the pieces, and train.
We will be back, and we will be stronger and wiser for the experience.

We are Resistance... Surrender is not an option!

Once More In To The Breach

Final preparations are being completed, all soldiers being deployed have completed their paperwork, and Plan A is in effect.

The sky is the limit, and we want blue skies - so think big, be brave, and fight for what you know is right.
The Resistance is bigger than any one of us, the fight is bigger than any one of us, but together, united under the banner of humanity, we can achieve greatness!

Be strong, brothers and sisters, and bring us victory!

Royal Blue

Nice work LCpl @SirThommo - despite your newness to the Home Guard you have already started climbing the ranks due to great efforts such as these.
As the only soldier in the immediate area your trustworthiness is clear to see, great work in keeping the skies blue and the Royal Victoria Docks secure.

This is the kind of selflessness and determination that earns medals!

Another Two Artifacts Secure

Huge congratulations to our international allies, and the Home Guard Intel operators that assisted in securing a further two artifacts. Through hard work, determination, and resilience in the face of adversity the artifacts were delivered to the current Resistance target portal, bringing the current Artifact talley to;

  • Resistance - 4
  • Enlightened - 3

Keep up the good work... We are all proud of what you are achieving!

Time To Stand Together

There has been a lot of negativity recently, protest quits, temporary downing of tools, moaning on social media... It is time to remember who we are!
We Are Resistance!
Yes, we are facing an uphill battle; we are trailing in the anomaly series, we have lost three artifacts to "disruptions" and we have diminished numbers, but it is when our backs are against the wall that we are strongest.

We Are Resistance - that means the one thing we won't do is roll over and admit defeat. We will fight!

It is time to defend our selves, defend our allies, defend all that we stand for... It is time to fight!

It is not too late.
Let's Resist!

Coningsby's Covered

Lincolnshire has long been an important part of the UK's military strategy. The Dam Busters were based in Lincolnshire, as were the V bombers. Now home to the intelligence aircraft, the Red Arrows... And in Coningsby, the Typhoon Quick Reaction Force.
It is, therefore, a wonderful sight to see Blue skies over RAF Coningsby, protecting those that are defending our skies.

Good work soldiers!

Holy Support Squadrons Batman!!

In any operation much is made of the troops on the ground, but their jobs would not be possible if it wasn't for the support troops to back them up!

As we approach D-Day for helios  manoeuvres in Manchester , Intelligence Officer, Group Captain @Shires has asked for people to come forward to help fill these roles!
There are a variety of duties available, and you do not need to be able to make it to Manchester to carry them out - in fact you don't even need to leave your house for some of them!
So if you are available on Saturday, but can't get to Manchester maybe you could help the Intel Corps or be on the end of the Bat Phone for the Quick Response Force?

Your help is valuable, you could help save millions of minds in the UK's second most populated urban area!
Your Country Needs You!

Farm For Victory

We are in the last week of preparations for our deployment to Manchester, and we need you!
Every member of Home Guard is encouraged to Farm For Victory - those going on active duty need the stock.
If you are not going on manoeuvres in Manchester, you are asked to kindly donate equipment to your colleagues.

We are facing an up hill battle, our international allies have been struggling with battle fatigue and "disruptions in the portal network" have gone against us.
We are not the sort of people to roll over and let the shapers win!
We will fight! We will resist!

Artifacts R Us

Members of the Home Guard along with our international allies have been working tirelessly to ensure our ongoing safety is ensured utilising the Helios Artifacts and the last 12 hours have been particularly successful.

Congratulations to everyone involved in securing Artifacts 3 and 4 in the name of the Resistance - your efforts have not going unnoticed, and your ongoing efforts are incredibly appreciated!

The bad news is, there is no time to celebrate; we must push on and secure more artifacts as well as defending our cities against the shaper anomalies.

Standby for an announcement from your platoon leader

As members of the Home Guard you will all be aware of the importance of being ready for action. The action needed can vary from situation to situation and from person to person but every job is important.

In one weeks time many of you will be going into battle, fighting for the safety of Manchester. All those that have come forward and volunteered for action are already heroes, and we need to show them support!

It is not too late to stand beside these heroes in the fight against ingression. If you are available on Saturday 23rd, whether you can be in the battle field itself or help elsewhere in the support chain, please come forward.

Your Country Needs You!

Blue Harbour

Yesterday, before moving to a defensive formation in the pub, two Home Guard members set up two layers of defences over Portsmouth with the help of a mini clearance crew.
91k Minds were covered by the protection, and they are incredibly grateful to Sgt +Karen Thorpe, Cpl +Paul Slade and Privates @olbapmai and @askuk.

I hope they remembered that turning up to duty with a hangover is a chargeable offence!

We Have A iWinner

Congratulations to +Tim Woolford on reaching level 8, using only his iPhone. 

He wins our competition, and gets a T-shirt, comic and patches. See you in the field, agent!

Tim Woolford originally shared:

Being an iSmurf.

Hello Brothers and Sisters of the Resistance, Agent TDubDubya here and I have a confession... I am an iSmurf! (I’m also at Level 8). This is my story...

On the morning of 14th July this year, I was contacted by ‘Agent Kenetor’. He had long been preparing me for the time when I would be able to help in the fight against the shapers. I quickly downloaded the software that would change my shiny iPhone into a scanner.

The first day was not a good day! I off work all day, in Upper Holloway which is a Resistance stronghold. I wandered aimlessly from portal to portal, optimistically hacking away at friendly blue portals, gaining weapons, mods and resonators, but sadly no AP. Gave up and studied the internet for tips.

Day Two… OMG! One lunchtime in the City of London took me well into Level 3. Deploying, Linking & Fielding. It was a good time to be low level, the dreaded portal virus was decaying resonators very fast and there were many easy pickings for an baby smurf (or tadpole I guess). I walked across the city and turned around to find all my work had already been undone! So I did it all again on the way back. 100k AP in an hour.

And thus began the frenzy of my Ingress adventure. I cycle to/from work, and started diverting for temping uncaptured portals. I have my scanner mounted on my handlebars, on an average journey, I can farm 150+ items - usually good quality as I travel via Holloway Road and Brick Lane which are usually filled with L7/8 portals.

I also discovered the wonders of the Emirates Stadium - 20 odd portals in a circle that takes about 5 minutes to circumnavigate - so many hacks, so many links, so many fields…

After a week, I hit level 7, and on Thursday 31th July, I reached the honoured heights of Level 8. I’ve also slowed down… a lot. Its a marathon not a sprint, and adopting a more sustainable pace will ensure consistent performance for the resistance (not to mention avoiding the risk of divorce).

TDubDubya - fighting the shaper ingress and those poor ‘enlightened’ fools.

Mission Accomplished

Operation Overkill

+OCD treading on our turf, literally, linking from city centres to Norway. Pfft. 

Link clearance from a city centre castle? 1.3 million mind units from just three fields? And we though mermaid units were more your style .....

Operation Overkill
Incredible late night operation from the OCD team and their inland friends, including iPhone agent katherine Harrison.
1.3 million mu was created from just three fields
Agents in the main cities of the Netherlands, Norfolk, Lincolnshire, Cambridgeshire and Suffolk worked together for the first time, to link the central landmarksof their cities including a castle, parliament and a guildhall. Phenomenal link clearance, many Jarvis, incredible work agents. 
Thanks to the frog who took it down, so we could improve it and put it back up. 
Special thanks to +David Rackham for stepping up on this one. +Lucy Shires +Elwin Tuit +James Quartly